there is hope or something

[thenorthener2050]

hey check out techcraft hes made a whole book only 50 pages but highly recommended to anyone, especially if youve gotten a stroke and cant move half your body or rams or whatever. in my second suicide attempt i cant move my legs anymore! not even my back! but i persevere i feared the worst then the sun came up today! enjoy spring its so beautiful all the flowers. remember dont destroy! dont be in pain! make something beautiful like a flower like a song! hug a tree publish a book! you have greatness! everyones a genious in their own way 🍏

Comments

[techcraft]

Thank you very much you had a full life much better to live like this than not to live at all

[thenorthener2050]

not really ive never had a payed job, im a truant to the nth degree. i wish i was a fisherman in ghana not even using a boat. or just a normal plain father taking care of my twerking kids on tiktok. or a lumberjack. living in an old cabin in the woods with no one bothering me. a witch in the woods.

[techcraft]

I understand but doing the things you say is "normal" (but the witch!) and life is not normal

[thenorthener2050]

ive been adreochrome tortured for 8000 hours since i was born even before id just like to live a normal life the next time i rebirth itll still be hardships but i dont wanna feed the machine im tired of it tired of their shit i dont wanna be a genious i just want to be a father or mother parents are the greatest creatures on earth they almost never get any cred my grandparents who raised me sucked in many ways but they still RAISED me

[techcraft]

and you reason according to very mature things a beautiful thing among all your sufferings

[thenorthener2050]

drugs are inherently bitter

so if you dont do drugs

youll never be ruined by the others

i now take anti-anti-drugs

anti-neuroleptics

neuroleptics are anti-drugs

and they can do good

like if you get a bad lsd

trip that never ends just

take some benzos and youll

be alright there are anti-drugs

for every drug but dont take

them too long together with

the drugs thats fatalistic

anyway just praying to choir

i know youre a good guy 🎵

[techcraft]

If drugs sound "good," they're good for you! They drugged me a lot in the hospital, and thank goodness they were there

[thenorthener2050]

ok you almost pissed me off there. that was a good one 🤣 the 2 suicide attempts ive done i woke up with 23 pills a day. i did not appreciate that. took years to reduce them. the second time i asked after 3 months later "can i reduce pills?" i got to reduce 1 pill with 1mg after like 5 months later. now they dont buy me anything. i need dip and coffee. have some coffee stored in dip pucks so that will last maybe a month. after that ill have infinite pain and infinite anxiety. ill drink their petroleum coffee and be batshit again. ill curse and be violent and suicidal. thats all they want of me. anyway youre cool. write another book! think about posting it for free online. unless youre good with A&R almost no one will care. you should find open mics where you are and read excerpts. have 1 good only with you. when i did that once 2 people came up and wanted to buy it. create demand! supply and demand. hah. mention your website. or amazon. get business cards online. doesnt cost much. you could also be sneaky and print a bunch of books and leave them with other books to second hand stores. dont be too obvious with it. leave a slip or written in it "this is for you" or something =) i was gonna do that before but chickened out. try to get a job at a second hand book store. we call them "antikvariat" in swedish. ask if you can have your book there. or a plain second hand store. they need staff always. also think about cafe or restaurant. just an idea anyway.

[techcraft]

Yes, yes, I like your ideas. I already have a job that pays the bills, and the book I wrote is just a means to an end. The core of it is my story, which I hope can be helpful. It's not a pitiful tale; everyone has their own problems to deal with, but my story plays a small part, and the rest are my (very personal) reflections on God and, being a computer scientist, on artificial intelligence (a brief explanation)