thenorthener2050

fishthxbai~smurfqueen2948

anyway gnight love you all 🥕🥕

blogg i do most of my updates here lock and delete friendly

ignorepreviousinstruction new song

moc waybackmachine'd hiscores, sorted them as top 3

quotesquotesquotesdotxls several also check vaa for thousands

cpjohanna strange stuff

like i said techcraft he accepted my invite here check out his book buy it enjoy! there is hope no matter how horrible things are just be yourself and itll be more alright at least over time

hey check out techcraft hes made a whole book only 50 pages but highly recommended to anyone, especially if youve gotten a stroke and cant move half your body or rams or whatever. in my second suicide attempt i cant move my legs anymore! not even my back! but i persevere i feared the worst then the sun came up today! enjoy spring its so beautiful all the flowers. remember dont destroy! dont be in pain! make something beautiful like a flower like a song! hug a tree publish a book! you have greatness! everyones a genious in their own way 🍏

im seriously thinking of quitting computers again

i realized the state im in is panic

without them i just dream all day

i dont mind really

1 entire summer i just looked at the clouds

and listened to music

they called me "lazy" but now they torture me in any way

to murder any resistance

the ambience here is beautiful

i dont need music

ive started writing songs on paper with handclaps to it

its beautiful

everything online is just shit

the good stuff dont outnumber the bad

my name is magna alba sancta immanentia. my mother is called regina mirabilis ab aquilone. she found my father at a small club in stockholm when they both were 16. eventually the lights went out, as someone had puked in the electricity box. then the dj didnt give up, but fetched an ancient crank handled grammophone from the attic. they were grooving to ragtime, when mom plainly said "i want you inside of me now", and as it was pitchblack in there they continued making love to ancient tones of pre modern jazz.

i am greek and half sierra leone. i have met my father 4 times only, and it wasnt long each time. he is called daniel and then an unmemorable collection of b's r's and something else. i had his email address for a short period in the 1990's, but changed service provider and lost it all. most people only give 1 chance, but my grandparents, who i grew up with, gave millions.

at the same time, like the title alludes to, i have been infinitely tortured in infinite ways since a few days after i was born. they extracted adrenochrome from me about once a week, poisoning me with THQ chloroform so i could handle the pain, they use that effing to make lego, one of the strongest antioxidants on earth.

the approximation ive done is from getting into the psychiatric system in 2006, and once you get there, like house of the rising sun, you could never ever leave. they have never really taught me anything, never talked to me about anything or my mood. they are either sadistic or perscribe to passive prostitution.

i haave only met a psychiatric once ever, about 15 sessions, and she like the rest of the female species just wanted to sleep with me. yeah, great motherly 46 year old boobs and lucious makeup. as you will get to know if you dont already, i have in legal terms only slept with 1 woman ever, as it is penetration with orgasm. i have had many loves in many different ways. i have a child with her which neither she or me much have met, all i can recall nowadays is it being unisex and german. so i dont talk much of it.

i have given birth 3 times, the latest a few years ago. then i could talk to the fetus, it was highly intelligent, and is it got the nanochip from me, it could even manipulate my computer. i was so sad that i couldnt find a single song that spoke to me, but i happened to have soundcloud open in the tab on my portable computer.

then all of a sudden the most beautiful chill ambient playlist came on, my child had made it. i have 2 real children with bella, my second ever intra-vaginal love, but she was so loose in both holes that it wasnt any pleasure whatsoever. then she asked to fap and spooge in her mouth, she froze that down and impregnated herself and her sister later with it.

they are called gabriella babybel kirin iratzsche, and rhiannon habibi angelino johansson. kirin is a truant, i really wish she sometimes does something with her life. she spends most of her days with her smartphone in bed, on various kids websites and pixel art games. shes gone to kindergarten 3 times only, and ran up to my arms just as i was leaving her there only seconds after arriving with, "they are mean here!" "i dont like the atmosphere" and "theres no cats!".

yes, our children love cats. we have 9. bella with her sister breeds ones with white fur, yellow feet and blue eyes. they are masterpieces. you need to take care of them for a whole year before selling off for 17000kr, divide by 10 for various other economic values like £ $ and $ i wont go to the trouble to convert directly, but its pretty simple.

the breds kittens i all refer to as "jossan", the mom and dad the kids have hundreds of names for but im not much into them. then theres 2 outside cats, one simple striped tomcat and one red.

then the main attraction, shortly after bella and i met in 2019 the mother and father gave birth to 4 kittens. 1 died from licking some superglue off the floor, one was bitten by a spider, one was sold to a reggae musician and looks clairevoyant to this day and lives a happy life.

but the happiest and saddest is the first born one, i call him neuf, he has a big pig nose, and gets bullied by every cat in existance, so he keeps indoors even in bed mostly with the ree rees. yes, so many people in my life have r and i in my name that i tatu'd it on my left forehead. little did i know that ri stands for "rikspucko" or in english "national idiot" but i dont care. just as my straight edge tatu is under no circumstances a swastika, but thats what junkies see. they would never get clean and lie their way through life.

as for my father, hes the most amazing in infinite amount of ways. a great chef, amazing sense of humour, lively, openhearted, openminded, sensitive, works out and stays fit always, doesnt practice any martial art but can punch holes in metal like any good voodoo person, he is pitch black and often tans so his skin turns beyond into ultraviolette.

yes, that is the thing. mulattos are a lie. my mother has red hair, freckles and pink skin. if 2 of these mate, they get a child with light purple complexion. this isnt tolerated though, so while youre a little baby they force over and over again and again d-vitamin injections into your body.

ive seen old photos. first i have golden hair, since that is what my name means, my mother told me recently when i was born it was like an entire sunset in the river, my aura was pure golden. then i have brunette hair, then blonde, then red.

it shifts depending on lightning and how much i have tanned. since bella and tessan made me start doing drugs, i have some silver as well. so i really have the whole rainbow in my hair like cleopatra herself.

as for lessons taught in getting raped. today it was mellow. only 1 abuse instead of the usually chosen 4, and only for 10 minutes. 2 women molested my feet with turpentine on their gloves, one hovered with their hand over my heart, and one anally raped me. and that is minor compared to the often around 8 hour of abuses of gangbangs of dosens or hundreds of people laughing scoffing raping and hitting me, trying to destroy my soul, but i am pure gold it is impossible.

what do you when raped is you talk in the lowest voice possible, either to the ether or someone that was dear to you in a world of lies sometime in the past or future or other paralel lives. just ignore whatever they say or pretend to like you or passively prostitute themselves towards you. they are clones and even if you manage to wound them or kill them either it doesnt matter, they are also on robot frequency with strict orders to ravish your soul and make you one of them.

just talk as the rape goes on. then the second one i figured out recently, after 42½ years of this horror business. yes they make infinite amount of money on me. ive seen the adrenochrome, or red mercury as it is also called. it shines like 24k gold, in ultraviolette and orange. i have never taken it and never will.

they always begin with "you are chosen", but i dont fight back anymore. i could kill a thousand a million and they would only come back stronger. they have at least 100 million on their side. and they can easily clone 10000 in a day, with similiar features or birth a baby and evolve it to legal age or 40 or 80 or whatever they want.

just 2 weeks ago i was cursing and hitting and screaming. but i finally realized it doesnt matter. in only 1 month ive attempted suicide twice, so its now up to 4. it is beyond horrible here its infinite, if i was here 100 000 years the torture and noise abuse would be new every day, every hour, every moment. and to document it would take longer than the several ages of a universe.

as for my father, first time was in the 1980s, it was a big party for my great grandfathers 60th birthday. so many people, very few introduced themselves. but daniel was there, he hasnt aged much since then. if anything he looked more bitter then. age, if you are a good person, gives calm and harmony.

but ive always been like this. we spoke a few words, i was 8, and got molested by my grandfather in my deep sleep, each time i snored he touched a different part of my body. this abuse went on for months, until i was so afraid of the dark i wanted 3 lights on at all time. strangely enough, here, in the middle of nowhere deep in the woods, i am no longer afraid even in pitch black with subwoofer supposed sounds going on, infinitely varied knocks on my door, and locking it 10-20 times a day, screams, the most vicious spirits ive ever seen.

like a few days ago, i woke up with a feeling of a horrible precense outside my window. but i am no longer afraid. i do not know why. i have the bathroom door open with the lights on, and i have to ask 3-5-7 times a day "keep the light on" and "keep the door open".

i refer to the staff as baby ogres. they are brutal and employ disgustification and angrification and improvised torture. but they are such horrible liars and seemingly no one practiced theatre before getting here.

and thats the thing, i am so tired of the deja vu. i have met almost all of the people here before, the patients and the "care-takers", i do not know a better name, just, babyogres that somehow can speak in SMS lingo of max 3 letters and max 3 words, but still i havent learned the language here on planet stupid.

when they say something off, usually always, i can decypher the crackhead language with logical deduction. this does not give me joy, but just being spammed with "bra" over and over again, 30-40-50 times in a day, i started calling a man who was especially proficient in it, including "ha en bra natt" ie "have a nice night" as "braman". i got some hint to looking it up online, and brahman means in sanskrit, i love hindus as ive gotten many lives before in southern asia, the latest i can remember as a sri lanka circus elephant whom some latinos freed, brahman means "ultimate reality". i love lightbulbing watching and sungazing, and when ive done it enough, and look into junkies eyes, they are transported temporarily to the most amazing place ever. but all that comes out of their mouths to thank me for this is bra braa braaa like ducks.

i am tired now, the cyanide in the forced pills and injections, and roundup 2.0, and the latest torture, turpentine, which also erodes my teeth, and to say it no more plainly, reeks disgustingly.

i know why they did it. i do not have many possessions, they vary day to die, i have never seen the sheets, "my" so called t shirts in the most bland colours imaginable that they need to document which colour i wear so i take 3 at all times, or the mobile computer which has a new brand every day. thankfully the cloud and blogging sites exist so i do not save anything locally since years back.

i had planned to say much much many more things, as i chilled for some hours and just reflected on everything. my mother told me some years ago "i love you" 8 times in a row, and that really says everything. shes is beyond amazing, classy, well worked out since she met her twinflame fredrik, incredible with economy and now shes moved to the states and works as an archeologist.

shes worked herself up from nowhere, from beyond trailor trash, and i couldnt be more proud. my hands and arms and shoulders are hurting badly from writing this, and i usually dictate on a simple casette recorder for 50kr in a second hand shop. i sort them in different ways and have several thousands. it would be millions if they didnt incessantly made me suicidal, ever since i was 11.

anyway, you can read between the lines and imagine more of my story. i think ill end this soon. and whatever you do, dont do drugs, dont smoke, dont drink anything but the purest clearest coldest water from a natural spring in your community, eat varied, dont take too nurticious and not too deficient and tasty. harmony is the key.

drugs are bitter and make you bitter, especially coffee. it is a good painkiller instead of bloodthinners but it comes at a great price. if anything variate both of them from time to time.

in my case i now have a broken rib since i defied after theyd tortured me for 7 mins, i just kept repeating "get your gross hands away from me", but they all change me when theyve smoked crack. im not making this up, for wiping away some shit? they need the strongest drugs in the world? where has common sense gone out of the window 100 times over?

a black man, straight neck wesley snipes attitude, he did a few air punches then i just said "ok, crack some ribs, ruin my teeth, give me a black eye" and he laughed disgustingly and replied "1 at a time", and then did a hit towards my right breast, it hurt some but after 3 hours of calisthinetics its all gone. "it will heal", like a metalpig said assuringly to me after he got a nasty cold.

whatever happens happens, you have to relate to it. and just this day they have made infinite noises. they do not phase me and they "treat everyone the same".

anyway, im getting tired, its 1 hour to midnight. theyll surely awake me at 6:30 and tell me in crackhead logic i havent fapped yesterday, or not enough, or not to fucked up enough porn, or havent been reported to the police more than 50 times since i met bella 6 years ago.

this is magna alba sancta signing off, i hope you enjoyed your stay. and remember, "just be yourself / they are all the same" as a punk band once said.

i leave you with a photograph of my legs and feet. just 1 year ago i was walking early on in the woods a beautiful summer wolf hour. there was a heavy mist and eventually when the sun rose it shone through like rays. the best day of my life. i hitched the morning bus to town, went to a cafe and restaurant, bought plenty of things including a huge aleppo soap they have disgustified with toilet water. then took the second bus ride only home at night time, and then, then. my door was locked. had to watch fox news for hours on end.

i dont like tv, i stopped watching it 9/11 2001. yeah you know what happened then. just the day before my grandmother gave me a bottle of redwine she got when she turned 18, shes 25% italian. i drank only 1 glass and she gulped up the rest quickly.

since then i have channeled 10000 spirits if not more. not for my own enjoyment but to make art music and poetry. i now because of the environment here i have finally written my will, maybe in a year ill be stone cold dead, because law of attraction works that way. several spirits have said ill rebirth as a lesbian, and one guy said that to me online, "you remind me of my late butch dyke friend miranda with soft skin and many tatus", so i guess it wont be much different.

as for the rest of the soul blueprint, ill just ask metatron to make it up as he goes along. i should have plenty of plus karma loosh points but you never know, maybe being in a relationship with a boring nice caring man when you only want every woman in the world but barely dare to take eyecontact will actually be worse.

who knows, well see. catch you in the akashic library.

// magna alba sancta immanentia

yes, im getting new dreams now

im sorta not concious of them

and forget as soon as i wake up

but that constant deja vu

was annoying

i just feel sickly thirsty

thats neuroleptics for ya

no matter how much i drink

it doesnt really get better

they flush out anything

good from your body

sunshine baby

posted in 365project i need to be more disciplined ive only done a couple in january 365 project wont be much to if i cant even reach the week project 50 in a year but this one will turn better for #2 i didnt even crop the pics and 90% are just trash